Beginnings

Where to begin? We must all start somewhere (and at times restart). So the question is: “Why take up more bandwidth on the internet and blogosphere?” There are a plethora of people in this world who are more educated, more connected, and more “with-it” than I.  At any given moment, we are able to access voices that will agree or disagree with us, that will comfort or challenge us, that will sharpen us or entertain us, or that will speak to our hearts. In the grand scheme of life, I don’t believe my thoughts to be that earth shattering or, frankly, important and necessary. However, even with these questions and reasons before me; I suppose, though, the real question is: “Why not?”

1. Fear?

Once these thoughts are sent out into the virtual world of the internet, they seem to become frighteningly real and set in stone.  They take on a life of their own, and I am no longer in complete control. Anyone can comment, quote, share, or misconstrue my words. Anyone can find fault with my words and ideas. Even if they agree with my words, they can find fault in how they are being presented. My perfectionistic tendencies kick in and my inadequacies are on full display for all to see. Then, what if I fail, or even more frightening, what if I succeed? If I catch a tiger by the tail, I now have a ferocious tiger on my hands! A tiger with all its power, unpredictability, and danger directed squarely at me. How can I even gage success anyway when I don’t have a well-defined reason for writing? (What a stream of consciousness, right?!)

2. Lack of impact?

It is possible that no one cares what I have to say, which frankly takes off some pressure. However, if I’m being completely honest, that would hurt a little. If I don’t try, then I won’t know either way. Additionally, I don’t want to waste my time when I could be more useful, impactful, and efficient in some other endeavor.

3. Redundancy?

There are so. many. voices out there to consider! I’m not sure the world needs another voice to enter into the fray.

4. Permanency?

Once the words are sent forth, they become real and permanent. What if I change my mind though? After all, aren’t we all on a journey, and isn’t it the point to learn and grow along the way? And yet, in a world of social media, it is easy for angry, clamoring voices to pull a snapshot or phrase out of someone’s writings, and then throw it back at them days, months, or even years later to forward their own agenda. This can be true even if that particular agenda did not exist at the time the initial words were being written.

5. Lack of Focus?

So…what exactly is this? Am I going to blog about thoughts and ideas or about home life and my children? Is this primarily for family members to stay up to date on what is happening in our small corner of the world or is this an avenue to write about matters going on in the larger world around me and my humble thoughts concerning them? Is this one, or the other, or both? Maybe I’m just writing an online journal of sorts.  I don’t know whether I want to build something that will grow into a career path later on in life or not.

As you can see, I have so many questions! I tend to analyze every angle and direction before taking a step forward. I’m a planner by nature. Nay, some might say a full blown Type A, control freak (although I do take active steps to keep that in check)! There very well may be a number of excellent reasons to start a blog or not to start a blog, but ultimately, it comes down to this: I think it may just be time to take that first tentative step.

It is my nature to want to have all the answers right here, right now. I want to know the end of the journey before I begin, and I want to discover the most efficient and correct way of achieving that end. Unfortunately, that just isn’t how life works. It doesn’t negate, though, the necessity to place one foot in front of the other down a path that will ultimately lead to something. That, in and of itself, is simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying.

So, if you came here for answers, you may well be disappointed. However, if you came to this virtual neck of the words for company on a journey we are all taking to find our place in this world and to live out our lives the best way we are able, then I say welcome! I would love to have some company on this journey called life!